Friday, June 25, 2010


One year ago today we brought home our sweet boy. He became sweeter in September and again in December through his self-taxidermy using chocolate stuffing! We love his strength of will, his adventurous spirit, and his loving nature. Cost of chocolate baking bar: $4, cost of trip to the emergency veterinary clinic for "emesis induction": $800, cost of a darling dachshund wagging a tail that has grown as fluffy as a Victorian ostrich feather fan over the past year: priceless.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Sleeping Beauty

Our Pretty Princess snoozes in bed. "Someday, my three-legged Prince will come....."

Hot Spot

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting from Texas last week and they were shocked at how low I keep the air conditioning. They, perhaps, do not understand that one works up a sweat chasing a five-year-old during the day and that sleeping with four dogs at night is hardly cool and comfortable. In this photo, Sophie, Rachsie and Red Rocket demonstrate that if you get a little chilly in the house then all you need to do is find a sunny spot to nap in.

Red Rocket's Rules of Rawhide

1. If Mommy gives me a rawhide bone, it's mine. 2. If Mommy gives you a rawhide bone, that's mine too. 3. If I leave my rawhide bone unattended for any reason, it's still mine. 4. If you leave your rawhide bone unattended, then it's mine. 5. If you attempt to confiscate my rawhide bone then I remind you, it's mine. 6. Any bones confiscated by Mommy or Daddy from Rachsie, Maggie or Hank belong to me. 7. Any bones unearthed from the back yard, regardless of the original date of burial, belong to me.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Baby Shower Prompts Legal Action

Case Number 2010-6-19

Red Rocket v. LeZotte

Plaintiff, Red Rocket, alleges that on or about the evening of Saturday, June 19, he was denied his usual unlimited access to all areas of the family home during a baby shower dinner party. Plaintiff further alleges that laughter at his expense came in the form of menu cards at the dinner table that labeled the final course of the meal as "Red Rocket's uber Chocolate Buffet." Plaintiff claims that the ultimate humiliation was suffered when he was allowed brief access to the dessert service area for photographs with the above-mentioned buffet. Plaintiff seeks damages in the form of samples of the eleven chocolate candies and cordials he sniffed but was restrained from consuming on the night in question. Plaintiff further seeks monetary damages in the amount of $800 to cover expenses of the post-consumption intestinal cleanse. If Plaintiff does NOT win lawsuit, he would like to acknowledge the sympathy of Aimee Geist who took pity upon him and did give him some lap time during the party (and a large home-baked dog cookie.) Plaintiff will also take satisfaction in releasing a dirty little secret about the meal preparations: that the dining surface was sullied by a lounging feline...bon appetit, ladies.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Snoozing in Style

The minute I walked into Julianna Daniel Antiques and my eyes fell upon the Chippendale Child's Bench I knew that it was coming home with me and would live its second life as a chaise lounge for dachshunds...

Squirrel Hunt: Volume 236

I call him "Fatty Fatacre" and he is our resident squirrel. The oak tree that towers over our house, throwing shade over the roof and no doubt saving us double-digit dollars in cooling costs every summer, provides Fatty with an abundant supply of acorns and profuse limbs and foliage for his domicile. Because of Fatty we have to replace our outdoor Christmas lights almost every year (he sharpens his teeth on the plastic) and because of Fatty I have had to abandon the dream of a gorgeous planter full of live flowers on the front porch during the warm months: two years ago he pulled up over $100 worth of blooming annuals in order to bury his assorted treasures culled from the neighborhood garbage bins. Amongst his loot: an intact slice of Dominoes pepperoni pizza, a Mars bar still in its wrapper, and a baggie of marijuana (obviously Fatty was a DEA agent in a former life...) When not trolling the trash cans for prizes, Fatty amuses himself by leaping from tree to tree to electrical line and back again in our backyard just out of reach of the dogs. Fatty's agility is astounding given his girth and Hank's agility is demonstrated in this series of photos that capture him leaping and circling beneath Fatty's taunting snickers.


Red Rocket and Hank play footsie in bed...

Puppy Pretzel

Red Rocket and Rachsie love to snuggle together and one of their favorite snuggling positions is a criss-cross arrangement that resembles the center of a pretzel. Maybe this is the equivalent of the fetal position for dogs?

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Art Imitates Life

Edward is at the age where he gets very involved with imaginative play and eavesdropping on his playtime scenarios often leaves us stifling giggles and wondering in amazement at the things he's seen, heard, and imitated. Yesterday, Edward filled his Playmobil Recreational Vehicle full of plastic dog figures to "make the Starbucks run." He called the black dog Emma and he continues to ask if we can visit her in heaven.

Maggie's New Nickname

Edward is a voracious eater. And he's a good eater. Although August is a hard-core believer in "dinner before dessert," I have, on more than one occasion, placed a piece of chocolate cake and a bowl of broccoli together in front of Edward and watched him devour a few bites of cake and then turn to the broccoli and polish it off. Chocolate with a broccoli chaser, this is my child. So when he requests a particular food I know it usually won't go to waste. Recently he has been on a lasagna kick and while I don't mind making it for him it is a little more labor intensive than macaroni and cheese in a box. Since I had Tuesday off work I was able to take the time to make Edward a batch of "sagna" as he calls it. He had a piece for dinner and then, right before going to bed, he employed his typical stalling tactic of whining, "I'm hungry." I was already reading a book in bed, surrounded by four snoozing canines, when Edward made his declaration so I heard August respond with, "What do you want?" Edward immediately replied, "sagna" so August heated up a piece and took it to him in the living room. I heard the fork clinking against the bowl and suddenly Edward let out a shriek and exclaimed, "A piece fell on the floor!" Poor Edward, he was probably shocked to see food on the floor. Falling food in our house usually never makes it to the floor. "Clean it up!" he screamed. I heard August say, "I'll take care of it." He then proceeded to the bedroom where he lifted Maggie from under the bedcovers and carried her, like a dachshund-shaped dustbuster, to the living room. Moments later he returned her, licking her chops, to the bed. Edward finished his late night snack and after brushing his teeth he headed to bed where he asked to "snuggle Mommy" before going to sleep. I climbed into bed with him and asked, "Do you want to sleep with one of the dogs?" He replied, "Yes." I said, "Which one?" and Edward responded, "the lasagna eater."

Saturday, June 5, 2010

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Special Ability

Dachshunds have a special ability. Their length facilitates easy access to their tails when the flea bites, so to speak. It wasn't until Hank began frantically running in circles in the living room the other evening that it dawned on me: I hadn't seen a tail-chasing dog since before Emma died. Thus, watching Hank engage in the quest to capture the brown whip attached to his backside was bittersweet. He eventually made the same discovery Emma did years ago: that leaning against either a human or a piece of furniture gives a lab the needed support to brace the stretch required to snatch the tail.

Update: Where There's a Will, There's One Leg

In a post last week I recounted that August told me he had caught Red Rocket digging in the garden and I expressed skepticism at the ability of a dog with only one front leg to accomplish such a task. I must now confess that I have seen it with my own eyes and can testify that a three-legged dog can, indeed, dig. This was demonstrated on Friday afternoon when Red Rocket entered the house smelling of eau-de-rolled-in-a-stinky-pile. As always occurs in such situations, he was immediately airlifted to the tub and detoxified with lavender and chamomile dog shampoo. Shortly afterwards, in a vain attempt to re-stink himself, I saw him "digging" at the towel that covers the cushion of a well-stained chair. The technique is fascinating and he looks somewhat like animated views of caterpillars who stretch and then hump to move forward. His adaptability continues to amaze me.