Grow Old Along with Me, The Best Is Yet to Be

I didn't think it would happen.  I thought Hank was too wild and playful and, well, clueless.  I assumed Sophie would become exasperated and resign herself to an old age absent of the ritual that defined her daily life for nine years: the patient and meticulous grooming of a labrador retriever's head and ears.  But I was too cynical or lacked faith or mourned Emma too deeply myself.  At long last realization has dawned and Hank has learned that Sophie's ministrations are not invitations to engage in a wrestling match but are moments to be still and quiet and accept the gentle motherly love of a feline.  And Hank's acceptance of the ritual has created a togetherness that is expressed even outside the act of daily grooming.

Love and Tornado

As Red Rocket Report fans from Wichita know, we had a tornado come through here several weeks ago.  It was a scary experience as the twister passed within a mile of our house and there were some bleak moments when we thought we would be hit.  We have a pet disaster plan and the dogs and cats were kenneled in the basement laundry room with us.  When the tornado sirens go off in Wichita, Edward's usual first response is to yell, "Where's my Pooh Bear!?!"  I recount this story to convey how much Edward loves Hank: only a child who has deeply bonded with his dog would tuck Pooh Bear in next to the canine for his afternoon nap...

He is Healthy, Happy and Loved

I know it has been a long while since the Red Rocket Report was updated and anxious fans are inquiring. Please be assured that he is happy, healthy and loved!

The Best Way to Spend a Rainy, Cold Sunday Morning

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Hot Head

After several warm evenings requiring open windows and the whir of the ceiling fan to create an environment comfortable for sleeping the temperature has dropped and the heating pad is back out. Red Rocket managed to sneak his head onto the warm surface when Momma got out of bed for a drink of water.
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Spring Spruce Up

When Emma was alive and still an "only child" I bought her a new collar with matching dog tag every season. Now that there are four canines to outfit that luxury has been abandoned. I have been searching for new collars for the dogs for several months now as Red Rocket and Rachsie's faux Burberry plaid is shredding and the hairs on Hank's leopard skin are molting to reveal an unattractive green plastic skin. The last straw came when Maggie lost the name tag off of her collar earlier this week. Send your reports to Vogue Dogue: this season's look is basic black leather with silver trim and matching silver tags all made in the U.S.A.
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Commence: Operation Manipulate Momma. A Diary of Maneuvers and Engagements by Captain Red Rocket

5:50 AM  Commence Operation Obtain Breakfast.  Ground assault begins with ascent of Pillow Peak and body bombing of Mount Momma.  Momma reacts accordingly and assists Company Rocket Rebels in their descent from the bed to the chow line.  Bolt breakfast. 

5:51 AM  Commence Operation Fertilize Garden

5:52 AM  Commence Operation Back-to-Bed. 

10:30 AM  Commence Operation Starbucks.  Muster troops and report to duty station front door.  In disorderly fashion pile into Humvee for transport to the local java hut.

10:40 AM  Mission complete.  Return to base.  Troops briefly diverted to provide humanitarian aid to malnourished tree in the front yard.

10:41 AM  Commence Operation Nap-in-Momma-Lap.  Field conditions are difficult as terrain shifts and Captain endures the assults of Sunday newspaper sections and fellow Rocket Rebels competing for lap space.

11:45 AM  Commence Operation Squirrel Hunt.  Daddy provides field support using garden implements.  Edward provides sand for shoring positions.  Hank sent on recon.  Mission fails.  Back to nap.

2:00 PM  Momma returns from supply station with rations and munitions.  Captain Rocket leads field exercises to test the new "flappy bomb" composed of a surely combustible substance disguised in a casing of orange and lavendar flannel.

3:00 PM  Retreat to the brig with new weapons system for debriefing and nap.  Embedded CNN Reporter captures an image of a weary Captain Rocket with the new weapon.  Consider possible charges for revealing National Security information and not allowing the Captain to brush his ears before the photo.

5:00 PM  Commence Operation Desire Dinner.  Rocket Rebels attack Daddy with sharp claws.  Chow is promptly provided.

5:05 PM  Commence Operation Double Dinner.  Feline intelligence operatives report that Momma was laundering in the latrines during chowtime.  She is thus unaware that the troops have already been through the chow line.  A surprise attack results in victory!  Momma fills the chow bowls a second time.  Three of the six Rocket Rebels are able to bolt the entire second meal before Daddy starts screaming.  Too full for evening maneuvers.  Nap.

8:45 PM  LPs (last potties).  Rocket Rebels are put through an agonizing series of endurance tests to earn cookies.  Captain Rocket must sit.  Maggie and Rachsie must shake.  Hank must roll over. 

8:47 PM  Retire.

Headrest

Red Rocket's long body makes a perfect soft, warm headrest for Hank as the boys settle in for the night.
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A Spoonful of Sugar Helps the Medicine Go Down

We stopped at Starbucks on the way to Dr. Olson's for Maggie's annual shots. They gave her a lid full of whipped cream for being so cute!
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Pâté de foie gras or Rubber Chicken?

Meet "Baby."  This rubber chicken in a Santa suit was purchased last year as a Christmas gift for Red Rocket.  Loyal readers of the Red Rocket Report will understand this next reference: when presented with this squeaky rubber chicken Red Rocket set upon him as if attacking the carcass of Fatty Fatacre.  Edward, horrified, immediately began screaming, "Baby crying! Baby crying!" and the chicken was liberated from Red Rocket's jaws, bundled into a kitchen towel, and put to cradle in Edward's bed.  Ever since this rather sorry-looking creature has been Edward's "Baby" and off limits to the dogs.  I must admit, I was a bit mystified by Edward's attachment to this toy until, at a "girls' night out" dinner at the home of a Red Rocket Report reader, I interacted with the infamous "Sophie the Giraffe" teething toy, the favorite of French babies for decades.  I had seen "Sophie the Giraffe" unveiled at the baby shower six months ago but she was confined behind the plastic of a gift box and therefore I was unable to ascertain the texture of the toy.  Imagine my surprise when I attempted to entertain Baby Helen with Sophie and discovered that she was little more than a rubber chicken in the guise of a euro-giraffe.  The rubbery skin and high-pitched squeal that emanated from Sophie were identical to those of Edward's "Baby."  The difference: "Baby" costs $3.99 at Petsmart and "Sophie" goes for $29.99 at the baby boutiques (and $17.99 through the online discount sites).  I will leave commentary to the loyal readers of the Red Rocket Report...

Playing with the Big Dog Toys

Last weekend while grocery shopping I walked down the pet aisle and caught sight of a massive, 2 foot long rawhide bone.  Walking briskly past it I thought to myself, "who would buy such a thing?"  Wait.  Me.  "Wouldn't you rather have Hank chew that than the leg of your dining room chair?" queried the little devil's voice inside my head.  Why, yes, a practical and functional purchase even if I look like Darth Vader trapped in the land of the canines wielding the thing through the store.  The brief embarrassment was worth it upon returning home and presenting Hank with such a prize.  He immediately devoured half of it and then paused and left it on the living room carpet to seek out and drink the entire gallon of water in the automatic dog-watering station.  That's when it happened.  Red Rocket launched the great rawhide heist, bolting into the living room and dragging the half-eaten rawhide (which was a long as he is) into the safety of his cage where Hank was unable to recover it...

Lap Dogs

The problem with having four lap dogs is that there aren't usually enough laps in the house to go around.  This makes Maggie disgruntled and she retreats to the seculsion and comfort of the master bed where she snoozes warm and undisturbed.  Hank possess the classic "I'm a lap dog and NO, I'm not too big for it" attitude, but the reality is that he is too big and so he must usually settle for being a "beside the lap" dog.  Rachsie and Red Rocket, however, are firm believers in lap possession even if they are forced to share.

Rest in Peace, Fatty Fatacre

Perhaps it was lethargy caused by the bitter cold.  Perhaps it was extra pounds acquired during a hibernatory orgy.  Perhaps it was a slip on an icy branch.  Whatever it was, when Hank dashed out of the back door this afternoon in hot pursuit of Fatty Fatacre, our resident squirrel, Fatty was not fast enough and Hank was victorious.  Adding to the horrificness of this senseless slaughter was Red Rocket's contribution to the carnage: I found him dismembering Fatty Fatacre by the back door.  I am distraught that my sweet dogs have turned into squirrel murderers but I suppose this is what one gets for adopting breeds from the hunting class.  I will spare readers of the Red Rocket Report the photo of Fatty's entombment in a Dillon's grocery sack.  There will be no dog kisses tonight and the water bowls will be spiked with Listerine.

Terms of Endearment

Earlier this evening Edward took Red Rocket's face into his hands, leaned his forehead against Red Rocket's forehead, and said, "I love you very, very, very, very much Rocket."

Guardian

Yesterday was Edward's sixth birthday.  As a "big boy" he rarely naps but the excitement of birthday treasures and adventures at Chuckie Cheese led to a late morning collapse on the couch earlier today.  Red Rocket happily snuggled in next to him and as I walked by the two of them I headed for the camera in anticipation of a snapshot of the pair snoozing away.  But Rocket heard his Momma and emerged from his slumber to pose in what I truly think is the most regal countenance I have ever captured.  He reminds me of one of those lion guardian figures from the famous monuments of the ancient world.  Granted, Kojo the blanket/pillow/gator draped around his neck perhaps diminishes the royal demeanor a bit... Perhaps we can Photoshop that out and insert a velvet and ermine cloak like the one in the famous portrait of King Louis XIV.  Like King Louis, Rocket has the hair to pull off that look.

His Fame Continues....

When I opened this morning's Wichita Eagle and pulled out the Saturday "Home and Garden" section my eye was immediately drawn to the header photo of a black-and-tan dachshund accompanied by the teaser "Long and Low: Dachshunds are Little Dogs with Big Ideas."  "Now here's an article that's right up my alley," I thought as I struggled to turn the page to the feature.  The report began with the story of Oscar, a dachshund who was hit by a car, taken to Heartland Animal Hospital, received a leg amputation with Magnum Fund money, and was now up for adoption from PALS Animal Rescue.  Sound familiar?  I was already aware of Oscar's situation as a young woman interested in adopting him had contacted me to ask about our experience adopting and living with Red Rocket.  I had not anticipated, however, that Red Rocket's story would be recounted in the article as the "success story" that inspired Oscar's rescue.  Red Rocket's fame lives on...share the Red Rocket love...

Scene of the Crime

Interrupted robbery in progress, assailant fled. Suspect is 3 feet tall, 65 pounds, with chocolate brown hair. Suspect is armed with large brown whip that can inflict serious injury. Absconded with 9 chocolate chip cookies. Suspect will no doubt experience intestinal distress and will be unpleasant to sleep with tonight. Anonymous tips can be left at 1-800-STOP-HANK.
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Pillow Pet

Hank uses Maggie as a pillow during an afternoon nap on the couch.
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You Betcha' Dogga' Blogga'

So, did you think we wouldn't get blogging?  Break out your reading glasses and a comfortable chair.  It's not Gone with the Wind or War and Peace but it's a massive dog-blogging effort!  Oh, and by the way, we've posted enough stuff today that you'll need to hit "older posts" to read it all!

Blog-a-thons Are Exhausting

It's hard to stay motivated when the canines around you are all lounging.  Of course, there are NO PILLOWS LEFT FOR ME IN THIS HOUSE!!! so even if I wanted to collapse in exhaustion I'd have a tough time finding a comfortable spot.